Always Go To The Funeral

I like to listen to talk radio. I have a radio show here that I listen to in the morning and then the rest of the day I tune in now and then to NPR (National Public Radio). It reminds me a lot of my Aunt and Uncle who also listen to the news on the radio in the car. It would drive me batty as a teenager having to listen to the news, but now I rather like it. I hate watching the news on t.v., I would much rather listen or read about it than watch it unfold in High Def.

One day while listening to NPR on the drive home, I heard this segment and it really touched my heart. So many times, we would rather not go to the funeral, it’s certainly never a fun thing to do. But, it is the RIGHT thing to do. I also like Sullivan’s line about going to the un-attended birthday party or paying a visit to someone in the hospital. It’s so easy to say that you got busy doing this or that, or that something came up, when in reality, you just didn’t want to go.

Your attendance at these awkward events, though, may mean the world to that person. In the end it doesn’t take much time or effort to do the right thing and ‘pay it forward’ a bit in the kharma department.

One of my greatest fears is that when I am dead and gone, that I won’t be missed, that my passing will be nothing more to others than an inconvenience, that my existence didn’t make enough of a mark on this world or the people that I knew and loved. I worry that there will be nobody at my funeral to say goodbye or to remember me. So, I always go to the funeral.

Please read the article below and ponder how just your presence at a funeral could truly mean the world to someone else.

Always Go to the Funeral
by Deirdre Sullivan
August 8, 2005

I believe in always going to the funeral. My father taught me that.

The first time he said it directly to me, I was 16 and trying to get out of going to calling hours for Miss Emerson, my old fifth grade math teacher. I did not want to go. My father was unequivocal. "Dee," he said, "you're going. Always go to the funeral. Do it for the family."

So my dad waited outside while I went in. It was worse than I thought it would be: I was the only kid there. When the condolence line deposited me in front of Miss Emerson's shell-shocked parents, I stammered out, "Sorry about all this," and stalked away. But, for that deeply weird expression of sympathy delivered 20 years ago, Miss Emerson's mother still remembers my name and always says hello with tearing eyes.

That was the first time I went un-chaperoned, but my parents had been taking us kids to funerals and calling hours as a matter of course for years. By the time I was 16, I had been to five or six funerals. I remember two things from the funeral circuit: bottomless dishes of free mints and my father saying on the ride home, "You can't come in without going out, kids. Always go to the funeral."

Sounds simple — when someone dies, get in your car and go to calling hours or the funeral. That, I can do. But I think a personal philosophy of going to funerals means more than that.
"Always go to the funeral" means that I have to do the right thing when I really, really don't feel like it. I have to remind myself of it when I could make some small gesture, but I don't really have to and I definitely don't want to. I'm talking about those things that represent only inconvenience to me, but the world to the other guy. You know, the painfully under-attended birthday party. The hospital visit during happy hour. The Shiva call for one of my ex's uncles. In my humdrum life, the daily battle hasn't been good versus evil. It's hardly so epic. Most days, my real battle is doing good versus doing nothing.

In going to funerals, I've come to believe that while I wait to make a grand heroic gesture, I should just stick to the small inconveniences that let me share in life's inevitable, occasional calamity.

On a cold April night three years ago, my father died a quiet death from cancer. His funeral was on a Wednesday, middle of the workweek. I had been numb for days when, for some reason, during the funeral, I turned and looked back at the folks in the church. The memory of it still takes my breath away. The most human, powerful and humbling thing I've ever seen was a church at 3:00 on a Wednesday full of inconvenienced people who believe in going to the funeral.

Read the full story and others here.

Silhouettes

Total quick and dirty post, but I really wanted to show off what I made tonight! This has been on my future projects list for a long, long time. In fact, I've had the frames sitting on my desk for about a year and a half! I think the silhouettes turned out beautifully.

Stupid Judge!

This is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard of…

I am flabbergasted that a federal judge would even try to overturn the six month stop placed on deep water drilling.

We don’t yet know what exactly happened to cause the catastrophic explosion and ‘spill’ in the golf, but some still want to go ahead and drill? Are you crazy? How about we find out not only what happened, first, but also how to fix it if in fact it does happen again. This is literally some of the most illogical thinking I have ever heard of.

Now is the time to move forward and away from our reluctance to embrace a life not dependent on oil. Oil is no longer the answer. Are we going to deplete every last drop before we move on? Why not work now towards more natural energy? You don’t have to be a tree hugging, bleeding heart, hippie to know the oil won’t last forever.

You Can Do Anything...

Re-Using Wine Bottles - Future Project

This morning while looking through my blog list I found one of the most awesome entries I’ve seen in awhile. It was on one of my favorite blogs, Be Different Act Normal. In the posting, here, she showed a few of her favorite things to do with leftover bottles, and a link to The Stories of A 2 Z, which had even more ideas on reusing bottles, here.

So it got me thinking.

I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but, my parents are winos. Wait, I mean they are wine aficionados, which means they really like wine, going to wineries, tasting new wines, doing wine pairings, etc. So they would have lots of leftover bottles to use for some of these. I already have them saving the corks and wine labels that they love for these two other projects, so...why not the bottles, too?

My favorite is this outdoor grill station:

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

Forty Three years ago my parents sealed the deal and got married. I'm so glad they did! Take a look at these pictures from that happy day:








I hope you guys celebrate your day together and have lots of fun remembering your past, loving the present, and looking forward to the future. I love you!

Capri Sun Lunch Box - Future Project

I am so going to make these! How cute!
Wouldn’t it be fun for Joe to take these to school with him when school starts in the fall? Ours will probably be Honest Kids instead of Capri Sun, though.
I found them here, on Thrifty fun.

Marriage is a Verb

Marriage is not a noun;

it's a verb.

It isn't something you get.

It's something you do.

It's the way you love your partner

every day.

-Barbara De Angelis

The Dos and Don'ts of having a Garage Sale

My Mom and I love to garage sale. It is so much fun to find new purpose in items that is someone else’s cast-offs. It’s even better to spend barely any money while doing this. Each time we go garage saleing (is that a word?), though, we see people that drive us batty with how they run their sales. Many times the signs are confusing, too little, or too light, or on the wrong side of the street and we don’t even make it to the sale. Other times people are rude or indifferent about being a host to you. So over the years we have put together a little list of do’s and don’ts. I’m sure I’m missing a few things here, so be sure to comment to add your tips and tricks on how to throw a great garage sale.


Do’s:
1. Keep a large box or two in your garage so that you can add things to it throughout the year so when it's time for a garage sale, you won't have to do a huge house cleaning.

2. Be sure to have some kind of sparkle or glass in your garage sale. Believe it or not, it is the #1 thing that draws people in.

3. Make sure to have enough tables and chairs for you and your helpers to sit in.

4. Place small items and clothing on tables or hang up. Many people will not even bother looking or going through items that are on the ground. Large items like framed art, lawn equipment, furniture, floor lamps, etc, can be left on the ground.

5. If you have a lot of books to sell, set them up on a bookcase.

6. Have someone present to run the sale at all times.

7. Be sure to say hi or good morning whenever someone comes up to your sale.

8. Have water bottles for sale (do not price gouge), especially during the spring and summer months.

9. Set a time for the Garage Sale and stick to it. You don’t have to be there all day.

10. Set out your signs after you have your items set up.

11. Make clear signs with the word SALE on it and arrows that are BIG and BOLD. It’s not necessary to put any details other than that. People are traveling in a car, they can’t read all the details of what you are selling, all they need is to know there is a sale and where it is.

12. Have some change especially for the early risers that went to the atm first thing in the morning and will only have 20 dollar bills to give you for that 75 cent candle they bought.

13. Clean off your items before you put them out to sell.

14. Keep your stuff as neat and organized as you can during the day so that things are easy to see. Would you want to go through a big pile of miscellaneous baby clothes, or a table of them that are stacked neatly with the matching outfits?

15. Take your signs down when your sale is done.


Don’t:
1. Expect your garage sale to be a major money making experience. The purpose is to get rid of stuff you don’t want and to benefit someone else; it’s recycling at its finest. If your expectations are to make a lot of money or to get a fair price on your old catch, you will be grossly disappointed.

2. Take ANYTHING back inside your home. After your sale is over, take it to Goodwill.

3. Mark anything with prices. Yes, really. It’s not necessary. People will try to talk you down anyway. Also, if they are really interested in something, they will ask about it, and then you have an in to their sale. If they see a price that is not what they want to pay, they may just skip it.

4. Expect ‘good money’ for your items. Come on, it’s a garage sale. If you want to make a lot of money, put your stuff on Craig’s List or EBay. I don’t care how much you paid for it originally or if you think it’s still in good condition, it’s not. Think about what you would want to pay.

5. Put your signs out across the street from where people should turn. Put your signs with accurate arrows on the streets that people should be turning onto.

6. Hold your garage sale for three days. Really, Saturday morning is good enough.

7. Sell stained underwear, used toothbrushes, toilet brushes, used makeup, or open bottles. Yes, I have seen all of these things at garage sales I’ve been to.

Just a few pictures from a last week...

You can sort of see Joe's two top missing teeth in this shot.