Hello There!
My goodness it’s been a very long time since I’ve posted on
my blog. I should probably apologize,
but have reminded myself that it’s my blog, and there has been a lot going on
that has been highly distracting. That
being said, I was showing my coworker some photos I had taken while we were in
Bristol as she didn’t know who Banksy was, and also was curious about Bristol
as we have an office there, too. As I
looked through the photos I was struck by a few things, mostly with how little
the kids were, but also, how much I really loved it there. I long for England. If I could, I would be back there in a split
second. There are so many periods in our
lives, I think, that people look back on and realize that it was the happiest
time of their lives. England was
definitely, without doubt, mine. I have
such lovely friends there, the weather was lovely – for me-, and the
atmosphere, it’s just so much more the way I’d like to live my life. Now, it’s starting to fade. There are times when I close my eyes and can
remember the walk, with real clarity, to the schools and market. I remember my friend’s homes and how cozy I
felt there. I remember our house and the
vegetables we grew in the back. I really
loved it there.
Here, though, in the now, I am rebuilding a life that is so
different. Jon and I are separated,
sharing custody of the kids, and figuring out how co-parenting works for us,
and how to navigate all the things that come up in our new dynamic. I think we do pretty well, overall, there are
some prickly bits here and there, but mostly we’re working it out. The kids are doing well, growing faster than
I ever thought was possible.
Joseph is 14! A year
past becoming a teenager, and it shows.
His moods can sometimes give me whiplash, but he’s still an amazing
person, for a teenager! He’s just
finished up wrestling which is quickly becoming his sport of choice. Joe had an amazing year for wrestling, coming
in just short of going to State. He was
very dedicated and worked extremely hard, giving it his all every day to get to
where he was. I think it was great for
him to see the difference his intensity made in his performance. To me, he looks more and more like Dad,
especially in the eyes, that makes me so happy.
Dad would like that. We have been
going through all of the steps for him to go to high school next year. I do not feel like he is old enough, let
alone me being old enough, for him to be going to high school. In my heart he’s always my little guy.
Jocelyn is 12 and all girl, super girly girl. She has lots of friends, with lots of
drama. She loves to sing, dance, text,
and do Taekwondo. Even though she is
twelve, she too, gives me teenage mood whiplash. Though, I am lucky that I still get loads of
hugs, cuddles, and giggles from her, I’m afraid those are going to be coming to
an end soon as well. Joci struggles a
bit with wanting to do everything Joe can do, not understanding that there is a
huge difference between the ages of 12 and 14, and let’s be honest here,
maturity levels, too. This girl is going
to turn all of my hair grey, but she has a heart of gold. She is very loving and caring, and worried
that everyone is happy and well. She
reminds me a lot of me when I was her age, but she looks so much like Jon’s
sister, including her gorgeous hair.
Next year she will be heading to junior high school, as they are moving
the 6th grade there starting next year. I’m happy that she is growing up in this
time. Hopefully, she will see all the
changes that strong women are making now.
As for me, well, I can say I’m hanging in there. It’s been a rough couple of years, and I feel
like I am just now starting to peek out from behind the gloom. I have a long ways to go to get back to the
real me, but I will get there, someday.
I am enjoying watching the kids grow into their lives and anticipating
how they’ll be when they’re older. I’m
working hard to try and keep them on a good path, while also trying to let them
be themselves. We have a new dog,
Olive. She is so different than any
other dog we’ve had. She is definitely a
headstrong little shit sometimes, but she loves to play, and run, and run, and
run… She really loves her laser pointer
that we play with her in the basement (finished) with. She’s a good snuggler and bed hog, and she
LOVES the kids, but not the guinea pigs so much. We are pretty sure she is a lab mix of some
sort and there’s got to be some hound in there, too, but we don’t care. I do miss having my boxer boy, Jarvis,
though. I call her Jarvis probably about
as much as I call her Olive. Lots of new
stuff going on, I love my work, my boss is amazing. We’re looking forward to spring and growing a
few plants on the patio, maybe getting a patio table and chairs so that we can
eat outside now and again.
March 22, 2018
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