Welcome to the Shit Show!

I'm trying to live a more honest and authentic life. So, in that vein, I'm going to share on social media that not everyday is a great day filled with fantastic pictures and activities. In fact, today, has been a real shit show already. It's been overwhelming, and infuriating, and one of those days that I just want to give up and spend my day watching trashy Netflix movies and eating caramel corn. I got one kid up early, forgetting that it was a late arrival day...oops. Then that same kid was having some serious oppositional behavior. The other one was in a good mood, thank God, but said an off-handed comment that made me cry. I have a person at work that, at times, I would really like to just send them a serious sharp-ass email to, reducing them to a quivering puddle of insecurity, but I don't, because it's not professional, and I'm sort of an adult. Mom's still got cancer, and I still never have enough money to live the lavish lifestyle I feel in my soul I'm supposed to be living. And, well, my better eating habits have gone off the rails and I feel a lot of shame there. I will get there again, but today is, CLEARLY, not that day.

There's a bunch of other little things that just add up to a shitty day. So lest you think my life is right on track, and if you do, you probably don't know me well, well now you know the truth. I'm a mess. I'll get through this day and on towards another one tomorrow.

*graphic used from Walmart website, Island Dogs sign. https://www.walmart.com/ip/Welcome-To-The-Shit-Show-LED-Lighted-Sign-Office-Living-Room-Or-Man-Cave/768486537

Do Your Kids Read?

I’m wondering if this is just my kids, or is it a new phenomenon growing amongst the teens and preteens of our country?  Do your kids read?  Mine do read, they read novels, homework, and anything presented to them on Youtube.  But, do your kids read things like labels, signs, or instructions?  Mine definitely don’t.  I’ve started noticing this on and off recently and then had an epiphany.  You see, we would be out in Target (of course) and I would pick something up and inevitably one of my children would ask me what it was, even if it had a clear as day label on it.  Or, mean Mommy that I am, I will make them microwave or bake their own snack and…they won’t read the instructions, they’ll ask me how long to cook it.  They still can’t comprehend what the shampoo vs. the conditioner is for, and will very often not check to see who the package is for that was left on our steps.  How did this happen?  My hypothesis?  It’s Youtube, Google, Alexa, and Siri!  Have a question ask one of them and they get the perfect answer right away.  It could be partly me, though, too, as I may have been blindly answering them without thinking about it.  Now, after my epiphany, I am determined that my kids will be able to READ.  Really, read.  Like the kind of reading that we all have to do every single day.  Emails that you have to decipher, ingredients within food labels, or how to bake a box cake!  We all have to do this, every single day, and I am going to get them back on the path of us “old fashioned” people who still use our eyes and our brains to get through instructions, not Youtube.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  We have a couple of Echo Dots in our house that we use often, and I like to ask Google a lot of stuff.  I’ve also noticed that my attention span has really waned the last few years as there seems to be this almost constant stream of media input.  I get it.  I’m not getting rid of my tech, nor my kids’, but what I am going to do is start taking a beat when these opportunities come around and engage my kids into really reading what is going. 

There, Mom soapbox over.  Just don’t get me started on texting, spelling, and autocorrect!

Now, some obligatory pictures of my sweet babies...

My gorgeous girl having some downtime with Mom.

Joe and I had a giggle over finding a small bag of coffee at Michaels.

April 10, 2018

Insane Week!

Photo courtesy of Family fun, here.

This last week has been a crazy one, full of ups and downs:

-Monday went really well, actually. When we all got home, the kids sat down and did their homework while I made dinner. Dinner was the low point, what sounded great, turned out, eh. Pork tenderloin with sauted spinach on polenta rounds. Polenta was plain, even though I tried to elevate it, and so was the spinach.

-Tuesday, WOW! I had a really, really rough day at work. I found out that I will have the opportunity to share my knowledge with and train a new member on my team that has a much higher job description than I do, again. After that, I will be doing the more pedestrian things, and they will be doing the more 'glamorous' stuff. I was a bit upset, to say the least. That night Joe had a basketball game, so I picked up Jocelyn and we went to the Boys and Girls club where Joe goes after school and plays basketball. Joci was a little, ahem, annoying. She wanted to be with Joe, constantly hugging him on the sideline or going over to him if he was throwing the ball in. Then I would have to get her, and she would throw a fit. After the game we went to Rubios for Fish Taco Tuesdays, and again seemed to lose control of the kids, not badly, but enough to warrant 'looks' from other people.

-Wednesday was my work from home day, and I definitely needed it. I was still hurt from the goings on at work, and then had an error that I made pointed out to me, which made the whole thing worse. Right before I went to pick up the kids, Joe's teacher called and asked if we might bring in our Tortoise...the next day...I of course agreed. Joe told me he lost his lunchbox, and so we ran to Walmart to buy a new lunchbox and a traveling box for Moto Moto, our tortoise. I took the kids to pizza, and had to take Joci outside to discipline her for really bad behavior in the restaurant. That night after I drilled holes into Moto Moto's traveling box I talked with Jon on the phone and he gave me a pep talk that I really needed, during which I cried and sobbed and felt bad for myself and the wreck that I'd been with the kids while Jon was out of town and I was having a work crisis. Went to bed early, exhausted.

-Thursday was a little better, but I was still feeling hurt from the work situation and generally exhausted from all the stress. I left my cell phone at work. Of course, when I'm stressed, I seem to find more and more and more things wrong. Like the house being a wreck, or the kid's behavior, etc. That night, I opted to heat up a frozen dinner for the kids. I don't like to do that when Jon is gone (I like to cook things he doesn't like), especially since we ate out two other days, but I was tired, and went with easy. That night each kid had a meltdown. Jocelyn had hers on the way home, and I did not handle it well, at all. Then, Joe had his when I asked him to feed the dogs just as his favorite tv show came on. It was a big ordeal, and I ended up putting him to bed early, a whole 1/2 hour early, but you would have thought it was the end of the world.

-Friday is my second work from home day, little did I know it was going to be another doosy. Thankfully, work went really well. I got a couple of larger projects done and had little involvement with others, so I was able to put my nose to the grindstone. My parents, God Bless them, took the kids for the night and let me have some time alone, which I spent looking for Logan, our white lab, who got out at some point when I left the garage door open. Logan is Jon's dog and has a history of sneakily getting out when we aren't watching. I knew Jon would be really mad. I decided to go to a reflexology place to help with the stress and maybe help me to relax. Um, I don't even know how to explain what the hell went down there. It was just...weird...to put it mildly and I will never, ever go back. So I went home, made myself a little dinner and then went to pick Jon up at the airport.

-Saturday. Really awesome day except my parents decided to tell us now that they will not keep the dogs for us while we are in England. Which, I do understand, I'm just angry that they changed their mind after they told us they would do whatever it takes to help us. (Lightbulb moment, now I know where my brother gets this behavior from) So now I have to find a place for both dogs, if we get Logan back, which we still haven't heard from him even though he has a chip. Which, who is going to want a gimpy old Boxer? Everyone wants puppies. After we picked up the kids, we went to the Renaissance Festival which really was a lot of fun and a much better ending to the hellish week I had had.

At this point, I do want to point out that while all of the above does indeed, suck, I know, KNOW, that I am very fortunate within my life. I have a family that loves me and is healthy, and friends that are supportive. I actually have a job that I like to do, at a time when many people aren't able to work. I have a nice place to live even though it usually looks like a tornado has hit it. And, I live in a place that I am free to share all of the above and more. I have a blessed life, and I know it, but that doesn't mean I can't feel sorry for myself now and then, too.

I hope you all have a great week this next week. I am hoping that it will be much better. In fact, I know it will be as Jon is home and he is so amazing at helping me to juggle it all.

Joe's Birthday Cupcakes

Have you ever seen that Keebler elves commercial with the two little girls that come home from school, run into the kitchen, grab the cookies, and there is only one cookie left in the package. Then the older sister gives the younger sister the last one, but as she is turned around, another cookie magically appears for her, placed there by the elves.

Well, while we suspend the notion that there would be only one cookie left in the package (who would do that?) I just had one of those moments, I swear I did.

I was making a double batch of cupcakes for Joe’s birthday. I needed six eggs but I only had five. I even counted them. I was so mad, I should have gotten eggs at the store and now I’ll have to go back and get eggs. Then I thought, they’re large eggs, maybe I can get away with 5. So I get the eggs back out of the fridge open it up, and there it is, the sixth egg, all the way down at the other end of the carton from the other five.

So, maybe it was there before and I didn’t see it, or perhaps I can’t count…to six. But, I like to think that it was magic.

It put me in the best mood. I just know these cupcakes are going to be AMAZING and that Joe will love them, too. After all, that’s what matters most.

Always Go To The Funeral

I like to listen to talk radio. I have a radio show here that I listen to in the morning and then the rest of the day I tune in now and then to NPR (National Public Radio). It reminds me a lot of my Aunt and Uncle who also listen to the news on the radio in the car. It would drive me batty as a teenager having to listen to the news, but now I rather like it. I hate watching the news on t.v., I would much rather listen or read about it than watch it unfold in High Def.

One day while listening to NPR on the drive home, I heard this segment and it really touched my heart. So many times, we would rather not go to the funeral, it’s certainly never a fun thing to do. But, it is the RIGHT thing to do. I also like Sullivan’s line about going to the un-attended birthday party or paying a visit to someone in the hospital. It’s so easy to say that you got busy doing this or that, or that something came up, when in reality, you just didn’t want to go.

Your attendance at these awkward events, though, may mean the world to that person. In the end it doesn’t take much time or effort to do the right thing and ‘pay it forward’ a bit in the kharma department.

One of my greatest fears is that when I am dead and gone, that I won’t be missed, that my passing will be nothing more to others than an inconvenience, that my existence didn’t make enough of a mark on this world or the people that I knew and loved. I worry that there will be nobody at my funeral to say goodbye or to remember me. So, I always go to the funeral.

Please read the article below and ponder how just your presence at a funeral could truly mean the world to someone else.

Always Go to the Funeral
by Deirdre Sullivan
August 8, 2005

I believe in always going to the funeral. My father taught me that.

The first time he said it directly to me, I was 16 and trying to get out of going to calling hours for Miss Emerson, my old fifth grade math teacher. I did not want to go. My father was unequivocal. "Dee," he said, "you're going. Always go to the funeral. Do it for the family."

So my dad waited outside while I went in. It was worse than I thought it would be: I was the only kid there. When the condolence line deposited me in front of Miss Emerson's shell-shocked parents, I stammered out, "Sorry about all this," and stalked away. But, for that deeply weird expression of sympathy delivered 20 years ago, Miss Emerson's mother still remembers my name and always says hello with tearing eyes.

That was the first time I went un-chaperoned, but my parents had been taking us kids to funerals and calling hours as a matter of course for years. By the time I was 16, I had been to five or six funerals. I remember two things from the funeral circuit: bottomless dishes of free mints and my father saying on the ride home, "You can't come in without going out, kids. Always go to the funeral."

Sounds simple — when someone dies, get in your car and go to calling hours or the funeral. That, I can do. But I think a personal philosophy of going to funerals means more than that.
"Always go to the funeral" means that I have to do the right thing when I really, really don't feel like it. I have to remind myself of it when I could make some small gesture, but I don't really have to and I definitely don't want to. I'm talking about those things that represent only inconvenience to me, but the world to the other guy. You know, the painfully under-attended birthday party. The hospital visit during happy hour. The Shiva call for one of my ex's uncles. In my humdrum life, the daily battle hasn't been good versus evil. It's hardly so epic. Most days, my real battle is doing good versus doing nothing.

In going to funerals, I've come to believe that while I wait to make a grand heroic gesture, I should just stick to the small inconveniences that let me share in life's inevitable, occasional calamity.

On a cold April night three years ago, my father died a quiet death from cancer. His funeral was on a Wednesday, middle of the workweek. I had been numb for days when, for some reason, during the funeral, I turned and looked back at the folks in the church. The memory of it still takes my breath away. The most human, powerful and humbling thing I've ever seen was a church at 3:00 on a Wednesday full of inconvenienced people who believe in going to the funeral.

Read the full story and others here.

Stupid Judge!

This is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard of…

I am flabbergasted that a federal judge would even try to overturn the six month stop placed on deep water drilling.

We don’t yet know what exactly happened to cause the catastrophic explosion and ‘spill’ in the golf, but some still want to go ahead and drill? Are you crazy? How about we find out not only what happened, first, but also how to fix it if in fact it does happen again. This is literally some of the most illogical thinking I have ever heard of.

Now is the time to move forward and away from our reluctance to embrace a life not dependent on oil. Oil is no longer the answer. Are we going to deplete every last drop before we move on? Why not work now towards more natural energy? You don’t have to be a tree hugging, bleeding heart, hippie to know the oil won’t last forever.

The Dos and Don'ts of having a Garage Sale

My Mom and I love to garage sale. It is so much fun to find new purpose in items that is someone else’s cast-offs. It’s even better to spend barely any money while doing this. Each time we go garage saleing (is that a word?), though, we see people that drive us batty with how they run their sales. Many times the signs are confusing, too little, or too light, or on the wrong side of the street and we don’t even make it to the sale. Other times people are rude or indifferent about being a host to you. So over the years we have put together a little list of do’s and don’ts. I’m sure I’m missing a few things here, so be sure to comment to add your tips and tricks on how to throw a great garage sale.


Do’s:
1. Keep a large box or two in your garage so that you can add things to it throughout the year so when it's time for a garage sale, you won't have to do a huge house cleaning.

2. Be sure to have some kind of sparkle or glass in your garage sale. Believe it or not, it is the #1 thing that draws people in.

3. Make sure to have enough tables and chairs for you and your helpers to sit in.

4. Place small items and clothing on tables or hang up. Many people will not even bother looking or going through items that are on the ground. Large items like framed art, lawn equipment, furniture, floor lamps, etc, can be left on the ground.

5. If you have a lot of books to sell, set them up on a bookcase.

6. Have someone present to run the sale at all times.

7. Be sure to say hi or good morning whenever someone comes up to your sale.

8. Have water bottles for sale (do not price gouge), especially during the spring and summer months.

9. Set a time for the Garage Sale and stick to it. You don’t have to be there all day.

10. Set out your signs after you have your items set up.

11. Make clear signs with the word SALE on it and arrows that are BIG and BOLD. It’s not necessary to put any details other than that. People are traveling in a car, they can’t read all the details of what you are selling, all they need is to know there is a sale and where it is.

12. Have some change especially for the early risers that went to the atm first thing in the morning and will only have 20 dollar bills to give you for that 75 cent candle they bought.

13. Clean off your items before you put them out to sell.

14. Keep your stuff as neat and organized as you can during the day so that things are easy to see. Would you want to go through a big pile of miscellaneous baby clothes, or a table of them that are stacked neatly with the matching outfits?

15. Take your signs down when your sale is done.


Don’t:
1. Expect your garage sale to be a major money making experience. The purpose is to get rid of stuff you don’t want and to benefit someone else; it’s recycling at its finest. If your expectations are to make a lot of money or to get a fair price on your old catch, you will be grossly disappointed.

2. Take ANYTHING back inside your home. After your sale is over, take it to Goodwill.

3. Mark anything with prices. Yes, really. It’s not necessary. People will try to talk you down anyway. Also, if they are really interested in something, they will ask about it, and then you have an in to their sale. If they see a price that is not what they want to pay, they may just skip it.

4. Expect ‘good money’ for your items. Come on, it’s a garage sale. If you want to make a lot of money, put your stuff on Craig’s List or EBay. I don’t care how much you paid for it originally or if you think it’s still in good condition, it’s not. Think about what you would want to pay.

5. Put your signs out across the street from where people should turn. Put your signs with accurate arrows on the streets that people should be turning onto.

6. Hold your garage sale for three days. Really, Saturday morning is good enough.

7. Sell stained underwear, used toothbrushes, toilet brushes, used makeup, or open bottles. Yes, I have seen all of these things at garage sales I’ve been to.

My Kryptonite

I’ve had this on my list of things to blog about for awhile. I’ve kind of had a bit of writer’s block lately, so I went back through an old list of ‘things to blog about’ and picked one to try and get this ball rolling.

Lynn from “For Love or Funny” is a really talented writer and I really liked one of her posts lately on what her Kryptonite is. After sharing her Kryptonite with everyone she put a question out there for all of her readers…”What’s our Kryptonite”.

So, here’s my list of Kryptonite:

1. Underwire bras. Ok, even though you get so much better support with the underwire, they are simply way too uncomfortable for me to wear.

2. Bathroom floors. I hate being barefoot on the bathroom floor, I have to stand on a rug of some sort.

3. Eating whole fish. I can’t eat anything that is looking at me with it’s big dead eye before I have to eat it. Fish filets with the head and tail removed, well that’s ok.

4. Sharks. I am both strangely fascinate by them (can we say Shark Week?), and absolutely terrified that I will be bitten by one. Jaws is one of the scariest movies ever.

5. Pepto Bismol. The color, the smell, the taste, it does the exact opposite of what it should for me, simply because it’s so repellant, to me.

6. High Heels. I know, I know. They make your legs look longer and they are super popular right now. I hate it, though, when you see women wearing them that can’t walk in them and they hurt my feet, bad. Also, I’m 5’8 and don’t feel the need to be any taller. I like flats, especially sandals.

7. Whining. When my kids whine, my brain hurts. The space between my eyes gets tight and contracts. It literally is painful for me to hear others whine.

8. Cigarette Smoke. I’m so happy to live in a state that has many cities that are very strict about smoking. I have never understood why smokers think that just because they are outside, other people won’t be affected by their smelly smoke.

9. The Heat. Yes, I’ve lived in Arizona for most of my life. The summer can get upwards of 120 degrees, so you may wonder how or why I would hate the heat and choose to stay here. The answer is simple…I hate the snow more.

10. Thumping Music from the next car. This is one of my HUGE pet peeves. REALLY? Do I have to listen to your music on my ride home?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

My Mom's Birthday is today. 

She is an AWESOME Grandma, Mom, Sister, Aunt, and Wife.

She is a Breast Cancer Survivor that works hard to raise money for other Survivors.

She is an amazing artist, and has made many numerous paintings for family and friends.

She can't sit still, not even when she was in the middle of chemotherapy and radiation.

She likes to work outside on projects.

She is the fastest typer I have ever seen and heard!

She taught herself how to swim when she was an adult.

She worries too much.

She always wears nail polish.

She loves to garage sale.

She likes to work puzzles on the coffee table.

She is a maniac with the remote control. 

She taught me how to make tuna casserole, banana bread, and crockpot roasts.

She has a high tolerance to pain.

She likes to drink gimlets.

She likes crushed potatoe chips on her ice cream.

She likes Sudoku.

She looks so stylish in her Scion.

She likes to fly fish.

She likes to wear her sweatpants with the bottoms tucked under the bottom of her feet.

She has Sponge Bob pajamas and wears them when the kids stay over.

She always cuts the heads off of people when she takes their pictures.

She is very generous.

She likes watching movies.

She has multiple piercings on her ears.

She has seven brothers and sisters, two of them have passed away.

She is my Mom, my Friend, and my confidant.  I love her so very much.  I hope she has an amazing birthday and celebrates the way she wants.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

Cute Eggs

I got this in an email last week. It had a whole bunch of eggs with funny expressions and scenarios, but this is the one that I liked the best. Enjoy!

My Favorite New Cleaning Product

I love the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Bath Scrubber!

You don't have to use much elbow grease with this baby and it's great at getting that anti-slip texture at the bottom of the tub nice and clean.

Trust me, get a box and be happy!

Ann Landers - The Station

One of my favorite articles of all times. I would read Ann Landers every single day in the newspaper as a young adult. One day this was in her column, and to this day I still have it posted on my refrigerator. I often think of this when my plans get too lofty for the future. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.Dear Ann Landers: In July of 1985 my wife was diagnosed as having terminal cancer. Shortly afterward, your column on the Station by R. J. Hastings appeared in Newsday.

For years, we had talked of "someday" going to Paris, a city I fell in love with as a GI. The day after I read the poem, I realized that it was time to pull into the "station".

As soon as the doctor OK'd the trip, we went to Paris and had the most beautiful vacation of our 43 years. My lovely wife passed away a year and half after the diagnosis.

I have since taken the liberty of passing copies of that column to friends. One purchased his "someday" car, another went on a long-delayed trip. But it can also mean visiting a sick friend - and that "someday" should be now.

There is so much hurt in looking back and remembering those things we intended to do and didn't.

Thank you, Ann Landers, for Paris - Irv Gaiptman, Plainview, N.Y.

Dear Irv: You were dear to let me know what "The Station" meant to your life. Here it is for all the others who haven't as yet learned that lesson:

The Station
by Robert J. Hastings

Tucked away in our subconscious is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We are traveling by train. Out the windows we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing on a distant hillside, of smoke pouring from a power plant, of row upon row of corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hillsides, of city skylines and village halls.

But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. On a certain day at a certain hour we will pull into the station. Bands will be playing and flags waving. Once we get there, so many wonderful dreams will come true and the pieces of our lives will fit together like a completed jigsaw puzzle. How restlessly we pace the aisles, damning the minutes for loitering - waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.

"When we reach the station, that will be it!" we cry. "When I'm 18." "When I buy a new 450SL Mercedes Benz!" "When I put the last kid through college." "When I have paid off the mortgage!" "When I get a promotion." "When I reach the age of retirement, I shall live happily ever after!"

Sooner or later we must realize there is no station, no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us.

"Relish the moment" is a good motto, especially when coupled with Palm 118:24: "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." It isn't the burdens of today that drive men mad. It is the regrets over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today.

So, stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets, laugh more, cry less. Life must be lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough.