Thursday, February 19, 2009

Feeling a Little Anxious this Week

My feelings this week…

I’m tired. Aren’t I always tired? It seems like it. I’m sure there are many reasons for it, including being overweight, but, sometimes I also think it’s just how much I work and worry my brain about everything. In truth, it’s not really my body that feels worn down, just my brain. I’ve got to stop worrying about so many things and look at the positive outlook of most of the situations.

I’m worried about Joci’s teeth. Why? We have a plan, she has an appt, and they are going to be fixed on the 23rd, so why do I worry about it? Well, for one, I’ve always had horrible teeth. I had Bucky beaver teeth as a child, and have had crooked teeth for all my life. I even had braces, but was such a punk kid, that I had them taken off early. I was teased horribly, and it is still something that I am very self conscious of within myself. I’m sure that I am projecting my own experiences onto Jocelyn’s, but I desperately don’t want her to have to go through all that I have with my teeth. So, when they are all fixed, I’m sure I will feel much better.

I’m really scared about Jon’s job. His company put all the sales people on notice that unless they upped their numbers within 60 days they would have to start letting them go. Ok, I understand it’s partly the economy, but what do they expect. It’s the economy that is hurting all the sales people’s numbers. Or, how about you put the really low performers on notice, but everyone???? They even made them all sign corrective actions statements. So, while I’m trying to put this is God’s hands and not worry about it, it’s still there. That nagging feeling at the back of my brain, upping the anxiety just ever so much, it’s scary.

Joci starts her ‘Fairy Tale Ballet Class’ next week. I’m excited for her. She has never had anything for herself yet, and so I’m happy that this will be just for her. Of course, it’s during the day, why don’t they do more classes like that at night(!?) so my Dad is going take her. How cute is that? I am probably going to go to one or two, pretty much just so I can get some pictures of her being a ballerina.

This Saturday I get to get some scrapbooking done at my friend Sharryl’s house. I need the time away from everything else. A little time to escape my reality. I love spending time with other Moms. Their stories of their families and children make me feel much more normal. It takes the pressure off of my tendencies to want to be perfect and keep up with the Jone’s (why I do this to myself I don’t know), seeing other people that are normal and struggling with the same things in life.

I’ve come to realize that Joe’s sweet, sweet nature is very helpful to me. I love his hugs and kisses, and insights on life. Just getting to talk to him and love on him probably drops my blood pressure a good ten points. I’m so lucky that my son has such a beautiful, caring soul. I hope that it stays with him throughout his life.

We are finally on a break from flag football, between seasons. I am so happy that Jon decided to really use the break and not continue practice between seasons. I am starting to get burnt out on it all. So this break will do us all good, I think.

Joci has started the potty training process. Can we all jump up and down and holler Woo Hoo? She really wants to wear her ballerina pull ups and seems really intent on not going peepee or poopy in them. Cross your fingers for me!

All in all, I know that I have a good life. Compared to many people, I am very, very fortunate and I know it. I just need to remind myself of it sometimes and count my blessings. Maybe that will be my next post…counting my blessings.

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